Embracing the Polepole
Lessons learned in Tanzania
The memorial service went well. There was a huge turnout from the radio stations where my father-in-law had worked until just a few years ago and they all shared stories about him.
Sadly, since then it seems to have been a few days filled with death, including a neighbor and a beloved family pet.
It has been three weeks since we returned from Africa and I miss it every day. Since we’ve been home, I’ve barely done anything productive, instead dealing with heat, a myriad of medical stuff, the memorial service, and so on. I need to get back into my writing and my research but instead I’ve been in a funk. I miss travel.
Even my horoscope seems appropriate today:
You may be frustrated by a lack of energy combined with mental confusion. Don't worry. Instead, embrace the gifts that come when you take a break, let your mind become still, and listen to your instincts. Slow down, and success will come naturally.
I need to take things polepole.
There are two Swahili phrases you learn very quickly in Tanzania. They will be repeated frequently and they become the guiding principle of your holiday.
Hakuna matata. Just about everyone knows this one, even if (like me) you’ve never seen The Lion King. It means “no worries”, “no troubles”, “don’t worry about it." You’ll hear it everywhere. When we were welcomed to our hotels, hakuna matata. Relax and have a drink in the evening: hakuna matata. Relax. Let things be. Hakuna matata.
The second phrase, or rather word, is polepole.
It means “slowly slowly”. When you’re on vacation, it’s the perfect break from the non-stop hustle of Western culture. Take your time. Enjoy the moment. But also, accept things for what they are. Don’t rush. Slow and steady wins the race.
Polepole is a part of everyday life there. Climbing Kilimanjaro? Polepole will make it easier than trying to speed to the summit. We’d drive pass people working in fields of corn or using machetes to cut the grass by the side of the road. To the untrained eye, they might seem to be barely doing anything, casually chopping away with no real sense of urgency. They’re following polepole. Doing things slowly and carefully so they don’t exhaust themselves before the job is done. Mealtimes can also be enjoyed with time to savor the food and relax with good company.
Polepole.
In the US, everything is so focused on getting things done yesterday. This is the polar opposite. Things will get done when they’re done. It places the emphasis on the wellbeing of people instead of the almighty dollar.
And so, after ten days of polepole, we are now back in the US. Even the long flights and the delays getting home were eased somewhat by reminding ourselves of the phrase.
I’d love to maintain some of that sense of calm here. Knowing that there are some things you just can’t rush. There are some things that won’t be changed by getting worked up about them (I’m looking at you Lexington traffic). So with that in mind, it’s worth reminding myself that some things just need to take their time. And once you expect that, things feel a bit easier.
I’ll be the first to admit I am not sure how long this will last. I have a short fuse when it comes to stupid little everyday things. But I am hoping that just muttering a quick “hakuna matata” or “polepole” to myself, I’ll be reminded that sometimes I just need to slow down and take things as they are.
Stop and smell the roses.
Finding joy this week.
If you are not familiar with the poetry of Rupi Kaur, I suggest checking it out. A friend recommended her a few years ago and I’ve been reading her on and off ever since. If you’re expecting long, flowery rhyming verse, this is not it. Her poems are often very short and to the point, but what a point. They can be brutal with just a few words, or can inspire incredible hope.
I picked up a copy of Home Body in Lisbon. Here’s a sample that leapt out at me:
i want someone who is
inspired by my brilliance
not threatened by it
And then…
I’m a longtime subscriber to Writing magazine out of the UK, and that means I have tons of saved articles to read as and when I have time. Yesterday, I sat down to read The Women, which won the magazine’s Grand Prize in 2025. It is a truly wonderful story about women losing themselves and regaining their power. Definitely give it a read.
Some years ago now, we had a beautiful vacation in the Lozere region of France. We were drawn by our love of history and the Beast of Gevaudan. It’s a stunning part of the country so I am pleased to see it getting some love in this article in The Guardian.
This article in Time seems a perfect fit for my polepole attempts. I’ve already fallen back into the bad habit of reaching for my phone far too much so I will try to ask myself before I do, “Will this expand me or shrink me?” I already know the answer but the reminder is useful.
We’ve watched two fun movies this week. The Sheep Detectives is cute, funny, heartwarming. A welcome break from the cynicism of the world. Then, there is The Room Returns.
In 2003, Tommy Wiseau unleashed upon the world what would become a cult movie. The Room is so hard to explain. It’s bad; it’s hilariously bad. It’s like nothing else you’ll ever see.
During the pandemic, we would spend Sunday afternoons driving in the car and listening to the audiobook The Disaster Artist, about the making of the movie. We likened it to an audio trainwreck; we couldn’t quite turn away. Now, Bob Odenkirk has remade it. The difference is that this time they shot it in a single day with no rehearsals, and they read the entire thing as a drama. It is available to rent online with all proceeds going to amFAR and Blue Collaborative. Check it out.